Sini Ariell's blog

Being proud  is not a negative thing My dress Muotiputiikki Helmi  With my baby in my arms, I've been thinking about pride, what it is and why it's often seen as a negative trait? Is it for example wrong to feel proud of your own child, or of having had a child? Or is it for example wrong to say aloud that you are proud of your own choices and actions in your own life, or is that seen straight away as boasting and flaunting? And if so, why? In my opinion, especially in Finnish culture, pride is often equated with arrogance. It's wrong to say you're proud of yourself or your achievements without being labelled as arrogant or uppity. "He who has happiness should hide it" or "pride preceeds a fall" are sayings that Finnish youngsters get to hear from childhood. Do happiness and joy have to be hidden from others? Why? Does your own joy and happiness take someone else's away and does it make others feel bad? You would think that downpl...

Suomeksi blogi löytyy tästä linkistä Everyone who has followed our story in my blogs and the media knows that my husband Stuart never wanted to become a father. He married me happy that I could never get pregnant (as I had been told at an infertilility clinic in Helsinki). So what a surprise when in the new year 2017 I became pregnant and when I did the test on 2.2., our whole relationship changed permanently. The urine test showed two lines and my heart wept for joy and at the same time enormous fear mixed with rage. The rage was a reaction to already having given up hope of ever having a child, our relationship was so well balanced, and we had planned our future. I knew we would drift apart because Stuart had made his stance about having kids of his own very clear. I was happy about this alone throughout the pregnancy. Our relationship became cold and distant just because Stuart was unable to process it any other way, let alone change his stance throughout the entire pregnan...

The alarm went off at 5:30 in the morning and then straight into the shower. We arrived at the hospital by seven. My mom was with us and we got a private hospital room. The preparations for the operation were done straight away and they rolled me into the operating room at 8:20 am. The epidural was quite painful and the whole procedure very frightening. It felt disgusting to be numb but still feel everything. Stuart was excited and kept the humor up all through the operation. I pretty much cried during the whole surgery because I was afraid that something would go wrong. Finally, they lifted the baby onto by chest and I sobbed from relief and joy. That feeling of having your own child on your chest when you’ve first been deemed to be infertile is indescribable! Stuart was ecstatic when cutting the umbilical cord. The joy i his eyes made me continue my tears of joy. We are now a family. Our baby is huge! 4 240 g 55 cm. A healthy baby girl finally...

Huomenna minusta tulee äiti! Viinitiloilla lounaalla. Mekko EMP.fi  Löytyy täältä! Viimeistä päivää vietellään täällä. Pitäisi käydä verikokeissa huomista sektiota varten. Istukka on etinen, eli sijaitsee kohdun suulla jonka vuoksi sektio täytyy suorittaa. Alateitse synnyttäminen on mahdoton minun tapauksessani sillä istukka on ns.tiellä. Järkytyin kun kuulin toissapäivänä operaation kulusta, kuinka leikkaavat istukan kahtia, saadakseen vauvani ulos. Verenhukka voi olla isokin ja siksi varaudutaan mahdolliseen verensiirtoon. Hui pelottaa ja jännittää. Yrjööminen on yltynyt ihan kamalaksi ja olo on miltei sietämätön, joten kyllä, odotan huomista. Eniten jännittää kaikki. Haha. Stuart on muuttunut iloisemmaksi ja ehkä jopa avoimemmaksi asian suhteen, kun vihdoin jotain konkreettista on tapahtumassa. Hän puhuu vauvasta jo nimellä ja suunnittelee uuteen taloomme rakennettavaksi hänen huonettaan. Oma epävarmuuteni hänen suhteen on siis jo hävinnyt. En enää epäile, etteikö kai...

Takasin tiputuksessa. Yrjööminen yltynyt niin järkyttäväksi, että pistivät osastolle 4 tunniksi tippaan saamaan lisäenergiaa torstaille. Kertoi ilokseni että se keisarinleikkaus tosiaan vedetään istukan läpi minkä pitää tietenki olla tossa edessä alhaalla tukkimassa synnytystien myöskin. Sanoivat operaation olevan hieman kinkkisempi ja suurella todennäköisyydellä tarvitsen verensiirtoa sen aikana...pelottaa. Back to the drip. Vomiting has gone heaps worse and I needed some more strength for Thursday. They found out that my placenta is low in the front so the cesarean cut will be done thrue the placenta. It will be bit more difficult operation and blood transfer during the cut is most likely necessary.  I am a bit scared...

Tässä mun eka raskauskuva ja tää tän päivänen. Hyperemeesi yrjöttäny ihan koko raskauden. Paino putos alussa 8kiloo ja nousi siitä takaisin. Loppujen lopuksi painoa tuli kaikkineen 5 kiloa lähtöpainosta. Kun katsoo kroppaa on vaikea uskoa tätä, mutta niin se vaan on. Mitä tästä opimme? Vaa'an lukemat on vain numeroita, ne hallitsivat elämääni niin monta vuotta. Nyt olen onnellisimmillani aikoihin. Kropastani on tullut toissijainen. Pahanolon vuoksi olen pääsääntöisesti maannut sängyssä koko tämän vuoden. Lihaskuntoa tai energiaa ei ole mihinkään. Kaikkeni olen antanut ja torstaina tämä taival palkitaan. Kuvat raskauden etenemisestä kuukausittain Tammikuusta Syyskuuhun 2017.  Halusin näyttää tämän muutoksen kehossani kahdella kuvalla, joissa painoeroa on vain 5kiloa. Ne jotka kamppailevat näiden painoasioiden kanssa, ehkä ymmärrätte että niillä luvuilla ei ole niin paljoa merkitystä. Kropan malli voi olla miltei samoilla kiloilla täysin erilainen, turha siis stressata ni...

Don’t judge me for reading the title. Read the whole story. While following the media and news going around about trans children, all kinds of thoughts about the subject have come to my mind. I was trans child myself. I grew up as being a boy most of my childhood. And prayed God to give me boys genitals that’s how serious I was of wanting to be a boy. My parents supported me thrue it all.  I don't have anything against the decisions of others. I respect every humanbeign as they are. Truly. Every adult can make their own decisions about their body or how they raise their children. I got Absolutely nothing against Trans people nor trans kids. I was one.  Everyone has a choise to their own life.  I don't judge anyone based on their decisions. Everyone surely tries to do their best as parents as adults. Human rights are for everyone.  My story is just one example of this theme. Please let kids be kids and offer the help later in their life if needed. A child cannot ...