Thoughts of being proud

Being proud  is not a negative thing


My dress Muotiputiikki Helmi 


With my baby in my arms, I've been thinking about pride, what it is and why it's often seen as a negative trait? Is it for example wrong to feel proud of your own child, or of having had a child? Or is it for example wrong to say aloud that you are proud of your own choices and actions in your own life, or is that seen straight away as boasting and flaunting? And if so, why?



In my opinion, especially in Finnish culture, pride is often equated with arrogance. It's wrong to say you're proud of yourself or your achievements without being labelled as arrogant or uppity. "He who has happiness should hide it" or "pride preceeds a fall" are sayings that Finnish youngsters get to hear from childhood. Do happiness and joy have to be hidden from others? Why? Does your own joy and happiness take someone else's away and does it make others feel bad? You would think that downplaying yourself and hiding your happiness would also affect your self esteem. You would think that a healthy and strong self esteem specifically comes from the ability to feel proud of your own actions and achievements, no matter how small those might be. A healthy self-esteem means accepting yourself as you are, and at the same time being proud of what you are.

I could believe that a permanent memory trace can therefore remain already since childhood that you can't boast or be proud of anything, if at home the parents have played down the child's joy in his or her own achievements.

I could believe that the development of a child's identity and healthy self-esteem is affected by this same thing.

I see that there are two types of pride: healthy pride which is the genuine kind aimed at one's own achievements or merits or pride on behalf of someone else, and then there is the kind that focuses on material, merits and superficiality. A person with lower self-esteem can easily be offended by someone proudly presenting their achievement or possessions. To boast about something is a completely different story than being proud of yourself.


A person's pride shouldn't be defined by any external points. Not the amount of money, not the matter they own, not appearance, not merits nor popularity. In my opinion, a subject of pride is getting sincere/positive feedback from someone about who you are and how you've treated the person giving you the feedback. Positive self-confidence and pride spring from being satisfied with yourself and your person. Pride is not always a negative thing. It's great to be proud of the kind of person you are and how you treat fellow humans. A source of pride is to finish something you've invented or developed yourself, it's proud to be present when another person develops, it's pride to be able to look your loved one in the eyes honestly, it's pride to know how to love unconditionally, it's proud to be loved by others. It's great to be proud of your own behavior when choosing your own actions correctly and it's proud to be honest. Pride is in all of us, but it manifests itself in so many ways. Values define how a person experiences and glows with pride. Humbly and gratefully proud of one's own growth into a better person, or uppity and selfish, clawing through the eyes of others to become a better person.


Be proud of yourself. Don't envy others, because then you'll close your eyes to your own chances of succeeding in your dreams. When you reach your own goals, with the right values, you can feel proud along with others.

I'll leave you with a question here for today. What are you proud of? Wishing a happy and empowering rest of the week to everyone. ❤
Her outfit @bumpandbunny 

My Twin Peaks uniform dress 

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Collaboration with Disturb.fi & EMP.fi 

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